The beginning
2004-12-25 :: 4:56 p.m.
This is the first entry of this diary so I'll update you on my life.
In 2001 I moved in with my boyfriend right after he graduated from high school. He ended up cheating on me with a girl over the computer, and I never forgave him. We broke up and then got back together, then because of all of my mood swings and residual anger and hostility toward him we broke up in Dec. 2003 for good. We still live together, still have sex, etc. But theres "No chance that we'll ever get back together again." This makes me very depressed, and I'm in therapy for my semi post-traumatic stress syndrome and co-dependency toward him. He has a friend that is a girl who lives a block away. She is just a friend, but she bought him a teddy bear for Christmas. I am incredibly jealous of her, and I always accuse Adam of either wanting to date her or dating her. Sometimes I know that I am being unreasonable, but a lot of the times, the words just come out. I am very emotionally unstable, and hopefully it will get better. Sometimes I wish I had never met Adam, maybe I would be more motivated to do things rather than always worrying about him. I am glad I have him as a friend, but I don't want to be this emotional all the time. I hope that I can change so that maybe someday we can get back togeth----
Oh yeah. That isn't going to happen.
